These are wise pieces of advice written on behalf of a child. My hope is they will help all of us, mamas, to understand what our kids really lack and how we can raise them to become happy and confident adults.
* * *
Mummy, let me understand that I can always turn to you. I’ll grow up – and trust people.
Mummy, tell me you enjoy being with me. I’ll grow up – and know I’m interesting.
Mummy, talk to me about feelings. I’ll grow up – and understand myself.
Mummy, don’t forbid me to cry, get angry, be sad, and be joyful. Be lively yourself, express your feelings, admit your mistakes. I’ll grow up – and realise I’m OK.
Mummy, notice what’s going on with me. I’ll grow up – and be capable to get emotionally close to people.
Mummy, comfort me when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I’ve made a mistake, when I’ve failed. Comfort me instead of punishing me. I’ll grow up – and be able to support and encourage myself and others.
Mummy, ask me about what I like, consider my needs and interests. I’ll grow up – and be able to care about myself and others.
Mummy, let me not like what you like, not want what you want, not be like you would want me to be. I’ll grow up – and understand my true desires.
Mummy, let me refuse you, not agree with you, protest. I’ll grow up – and be able to say NO.
Mummy, allow me some freedom, stop controlling me. And I’ll grow up responsible.
Mummy, don’t hasten me to grow up, let me be a child. Let me be weak, small, needy. And I’ll grow up detached and independent.
Mummy, love me for no reason. I’ll grow up – and feel worthy.
Mummy, stay with me while I’m little. I’ll grow up – and won’t feel lonely.
And one more thing. Hug me more often, please.
Originally written in Russian by Aliaksandra Hryn